Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Randomize
