Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
