Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
