just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
