I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
