I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
So much rum. So many feels.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
