that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
