This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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