Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
