Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
