Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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