Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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