Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
