Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I need to sanitize my soul.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
