Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
