If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
