Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
