Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
