Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
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