So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
