no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Got a toothbrush?
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
