his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
