Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
