if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize