woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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