You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
