Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
so much tequila, so little girl.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize