I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
