I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
