I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
