apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
ttyl tear gas
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
