Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
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