Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
