Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
