i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
