Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Its about making memories worth repressing
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
