after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Randomize
