May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
