so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
