you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
should my penis look like a turkey
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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