drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
You smell like stripper and shame
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
