Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
nutella sex= disaster
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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