More tranny stories later!
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
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