is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
