we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
