I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
