if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
