So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
