Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Randomize
