worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Randomize
