Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Randomize
