Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
