an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
