So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
