If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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