My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
