Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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