I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
