doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
