I want to walk on stilts...naked
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Randomize
