Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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