We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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