I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
