yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
