Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Randomize
