i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
