My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
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