It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
