You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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