it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
