I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize