these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
