She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
