He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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