in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
