My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
